think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
