shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
