i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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