i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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