he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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