I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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