wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
