I feel great
I just peed on a car
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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