Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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