im drinking this country out of the recession.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
foreskin is a definite game changer
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
