Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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