i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
