I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
