Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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