Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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