Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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