yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
