lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
