you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
