UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just pee around me
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
