yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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