it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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