I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
