I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
