The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
