I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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