yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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