You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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