You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
