from now on my penis is your penis
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My liver just had a heart attack.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
