My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
