I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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