Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
third nipple confirmed
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
