i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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