Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
