They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
