I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
