and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
