Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
A+ Viking dick
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
