He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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