Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
