guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
