if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
