They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
