Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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