Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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