i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I am mentally ready for anal.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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