i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
