shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
