ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
