honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
