Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
