doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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