i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We need to get me chipped asap
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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